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Best of Messy Grace faith Messy Grace Recovery Religious Recovery The Struggle With Church

I Don’t Need to be Saved

Have you ever been cut off by a friend? I don’t mean moving away and slowly disconnecting. I am talking about a sharp, intentional separation, from friendship to…not.
It’s happened to me twice in the past six months. I get it. I’ve been become more vocal than ever in sharing honestly who I am, who I want to be, and what I believe. I am learning to be vulnerable, but that doesn’t make me invincible. The pain of losing a true friend cuts deep. In both situations, I lost a friend I had shared deep parts of my soul with– both past sins and future dreams. They were kind of friends you’d lend money or drop everything to rescue from the side of the highway. Vacations with your families kind of friendships. And now they are over.

Why? One word I have grown to hate…

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Best of Messy Grace Family Marriage Mental Health Recovery Recovery from a Suicid... relationships

Daring to Trust: Life After My Husband’s Suicide Attempt

I will never forget how cold the tile floor was on that hot September afternoon, as I slid down the wall of ICU room number six.
The statement that made my knees buckle, as I stood at the end of that hospital bed, was, “No, I did not mix up my medicine. I wanted to die. I do not want to be here any more.”

My clearest thought was how I was not enough. But if not me, how was our beautiful baby boy not enough to make my husband want to stay? I wondered how I could possibly face family and friends at our son’s first birthday party the next day, alone. I wondered if I would spend the rest of my life the very same way.

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Best of Messy Grace faith Messy Grace Recovery Religious Recovery The Struggle With Church

Religion is Complicated. Jesus is Not.

I believe in a Jesus who straightened out all the crooked paths we humans devised and made the complicated things simple. I believe in a Jesus who welcomed the little children who longed to be near him. I am one of those little children, who is content just to at His feet.

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Best of Messy Grace faith Messy Grace

Can You Lose God?

Letter to a friend: You lose a job. You lose a spouse. You might even lose a child. You lose car keys, your wallet, and your debit card. If you’re lucky, you lose weight. Some folks lose hair. You might even lose your mind.   But lose God?  No sir. You might lose heart. You […]

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Best of Messy Grace faith Messy Grace

This World is Cruel but God is Love.

I learned a great lesson about messy grace in a high school classroom. I’m eavesdropping on a high school conversation. An openly gay boy, talking to a girl who is eleven weeks pregnant. The boy asked, “How awkward was it [telling your parents]?” And she responded, “Daddy threw a couple of things and cussed me […]